You’ve just arrived in Australia. Or maybe you’ve been here a few weeks and you’re still finding it difficult to connect with Australians. It is challenging because of course you are dealing with the cultural differences as well. You can learn English grammar and vocabulary as much as you want, but to really engage and connect with native speakers, you need to have an understanding of the culture and how it differs from yours.
SMALL TALK is a common way for English speakers to start a conversation when they meet someone for the first time.
What is SMALL TALK?
Small talk is polite conversation about simple, unimportant topics that we use to get to know someone.
Small talk – “polite conversation about unimportant or uncontroversial matters, especially as engaged in on social occasions”
Small talk can seem like a strange concept to some foreigners at first because it is not used in some countries. But if you can master the art of small talk you can create opportunities to practice your English and hopefully go into deeper, more interesting conversations!
Common topics for small talk in Australia are;
The weather / the weekend / the news / sport / movies and TV shows / city events / restaurants / pets.
I want to help you overcome this cultural barrier by giving you some useful ‘cultural tips’ when making small talk with someone.
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Keep it positive
If you want to start a conversation with someone new, it is best to keep the topic positive. If someone asks you “How are you?” and you say, “I’m awful. I’m having a terrible day” or “The weather is disgusting!” he or she will probably not want to keep talking to you!
Heavy topics like a tragic accident you heard about in the news or politics are not the best way to start small talk with someone. These can be great conversation topics to go into as you get to know the person.
Great questions to ask:
“How’s your day going?”
“Having a good day?”
“Did you have a good week?”
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Don’t just say, “I’m fine!”
Many people learning English will often respond to “How are you?” with “I’m fine!” This can seem like quite a cold response that may close the conversation. If you want to keep open to more conversation, try to say something a little more positive or interesting (unless you really don’t want to talk to this person!)
Some suggestions;
“I’m doing well, thanks! How are you?”
“I’m good thanks. You?”
“Great thanks, and yourself?”
“I’m pretty good thanks, how about you?”
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Follow up with a question.
As you can see above, it is common in English to ask the question back to the person, to keep the conversation flowing.
So you can say – “I’m well thanks, and you?” or “And yourself?” or “How are you?”
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Start with a comment (rather than a question)
If you ask someone a bunch of personal questions before you even know them, they may find this intrusive or off-putting. So just make a statement about something
A common small talk topic is the weather. It may seem boring, but it is considered a friendly way to start conversation with someone in English.
For example:
“Beautiful day, isn’t it?”
“Lovely weather, don’t you think?”
“I hope this rain clears up! Is it usually this wet here?”
TOPICS TO AVOID
Another important part of cultural integration is to understand what topics or questions are not considered polite to ask when meeting someone for the first time. For example, in Japan or Korea it is quite normal to ask someone his or her age or if he or she is married when first meeting the person. But in Australia (and England and the US) this is considered too direct and personal.
So, when first meeting someone, I suggest avoiding these topics/questions
MONEY
Asking about someone’s income or how much they pay for rent is a very personal topic in Australia. Try to avoid anything related to personal money matters when you are first getting to know someone.
AGE
In many cultures it is perfectly fine to ask someone his/her age. But Australians can be a little sensitive about this question! Particularly if the person is over 30 and even more so if she is female. It is thought to be too direct, especially when you first meet this person.
MARRIAGE and CHILDREN
If you ask someone if he or she is married, they may think you are romantically interested. ;-). So, unless you want to flirt or ask the guy or girl on a date (this is a topic for another blog!), it is best to not ask if he or she is married.
Also, questions about children can also be very personal.
HERE are some great ICEBREAKERS to start chatting with someone
The Weather
Beautiful day, isn’t it?
Lovely weather, don’t you think?
What a gorgeous day!
I hope this rain clears up!
Nice day
I always forget my umbrella when it rains.
Compliments
I like your watch.
That was a great comment you made in the meeting. I agree because…
I was really impressed with your speech / presentation / your ideas on ….
Great jacket! Where did you get it!
MOVIES
Have you seen any good movies lately?
Did you see that movie……? Wow, it was so funny!
WEEKEND
How was your weekend?
Did you get up to much on the weekend?
I went to this great restaurant on Saturday night! You should try it!
(Check out this blog for more ways to ask about the weekend)
So now you are equipped with some ways to make small talk when you meet someone for the first time, or if you just want to have a short conversation with a work colleague or someone at the cafe. But remember, there are no strict rules with this. These are just some tips. It all depends on the situation, the location, and the people.
Trust yourself, and try it! Practice your small talk!
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Good blog ,It has given me some insights at highlevel atleast